When I was younger, I had fought a war against acne. It was a constant source of embarrassment and frustration. It also severely affected my self-confidence and self-esteem. I had spent a lot of money looking for some sort of solution to my skin woes and I couldn’t go out without make up on. There was a certain point when I could not even look at other people in the eyes because I felt so ugly with my raging acne. I wish I have photos to show how severe it was but I didn’t really like taking photos of myself back then. When needed to take a photo, I would put make up on and butter my face with every concealer known to mankind.
Dealing with acne was such a very humbling experience. I don’t wish it on anyone, but I will not say that I regret having it in my life either. I never thought I would say this, but in fact, my heart is grateful for it. I’m thankful for my acne for several reasons. First, it sent me a message that I had to change my unhealthy lifestyle and that I had to be kind and more generous to my own body. Second, it taught me that hiding is not the answer to problems. You can’t hide from your problem especially if your problem is your face. Hiding behind a thick layer of make up is not the cure. It even makes the problem (skin condition) worse. No matter how embarrassing and heartbreaking it is, you have to face the problem. The treatment and healing process take time and you have to wait and be patient; unless you have a connection to a fairy godmother who can supply you with the magic water from the land of beauty. Lastly, I’m thankful for my acne because it was on my ugliest days that someone came and made me feel beautiful and loved. It made me realize that the people who really matter only see the beautiful in you. No matter how unattractive you think you are, there will be someone special who will love you genuinely, who will appreciate your personality more than your looks, and who will think that you’re pretty amazing despite your imperfections.
It was my Korean friend/suitor (now my husband) who had helped me win the war. Hmmm.. I shall say, he was my ‘fairy godfather’ who brought me the magic water from Kimchilandia, the land of ‘magaganda’ (beautiful people). LOL. When we started dating, I worried that he would dash his eyes out and run as far away from me as he could. However, what happened was the opposite. He would want to get closer to me and…..I even felt pretty around him. Bwahaha!
On the day he explained and demonstrated the (long) steps of Korean skincare routine, he asked me to wipe my make up off to give the products a try on my skin. My heart went BOOM BOOM BOOM! *Sigh* It took me quite A LOT of courage to show him my bare face. I felt like undressing live on national TV. It was so embarrassing that I wished a monster would come and swallow me alive! Andy looked deeply into my eyes, touched my face with both hands and said, “Lanieya, you are beautiful. And you can get through this.” That’s when I started to believe that love is blind.. I mean, true. Haha! It does not see scars, blemishes and ugliness as seen by the human eyes. It is much deeper and it sees beyond the surface. Who would’ve ever thought that someone would fall in love with a walking gigantic pimple! Hihihi! 😛
If you are suffering from acne, I hope you find encouragement in the fact that it is just 100% exterior. While it may dull your beauty at one point in your life, acne does not extinguish it. It actually refines and enhances your inner beauty. It lets you discover your other strengths and unique talents, and develop your beauty in different ways. Because of it, you will also learn to see beauty in people and things that are often overlooked. Acne does not ruin the beauty that is within you. It makes you take care of yourself more and helps you become a more beautiful person inside and out. 🙂